Poop Questions

Every father of a newborn at some point wonders who fed the baby mustard, because what comes out certainly isn’t ketchup (if it is, you may consider running to the doctor).  A few weeks later, looking at dirty diapers will cause a lot of new fathers to wonder if “grey” is French for “baby.”  I still can’t unsee it, and haven’t used Grey Poupon since.

If you’re offended, sorry, I’m not sorry.  Every new parent has described the shape, consistency, color, and feel (yeah, that happens often) of poop.  Many of us have even taken pictures for medical (hey, doc, is this normal?) purposes, documentary purposes, future blackmail purposes and for, ummm… bragging rights.

Speaking of bragging rights leads me to my current question: how does a 16-inch poop (approximately) come out of a 36-inch toddler?  I’m not sure how that is physically possible.

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7 thoughts on “Poop Questions

  1. Poop sucks, it was somewhere around the doctor suggesting gloves and describing how to “break-up” impacted turds that I wanted my money back. Then it happened with two other kids at some point in their toddlerhood. I am an empty shell of a man. I’ve seen things…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ouch. That’s exactly why I force feed Cookie fruit. If nothing else, I’ll pipe in Gerber’s stewed prunes and apples (the infant mush). We get odd looks at the supermarket for buying infant food, but I don’t care.

      Like

  2. Pingback: I Have Something For You, Daddy | To Cookie

  3. Pingback: I Have Something For You, Daddy, Part 2 | To Cookie

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