What Happens When a Packrat Marries a Hoarder

Cookie:  May I invite Isla over for a playdate?

Me:  Sure.

Cookie:  Are you sure our place is clean enough?

Me: …

(Don’t tell Mommy I said this, but she’s the hoarder.  I’m bad about not throwing things out, but she takes it to another level.  Jeff Foxworthy said that you may be a redneck if you have a set of salad bowls made by Cool Whip.  We have a set of blue toddler snack trays made by Gerber and another green set made by Sprout. It’s not that we don’t have porcelain dishes and bowls; it’s, as your mother puts it, “a waste of good plastic.”  Don’t tell Mommy, but I do try to send them to the recycling bin whenever she’s not looking.  It has nothing to do with having one less thing to wash.)

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