Thank-you Pokemon Go

Cookie: I’m tired.  I can’t walk any further.

Me:  Cookie, we need to run a few more errands today.

Cookie:  But my feet hurt.

[Hands over phone.]

Cookie:  Hurry, Daddy!  Do you think there will be a pikachu at the next place? Let’s go!

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America -the Best Country in the Nation

Cookie:  What’s an election?

Me: That’s when everybody picks their leaders.  Everyone gets one vote, and the person with the most votes wins.

Cookie:  Why do people do that?

Me: It’s a democracy, Cookie.  This way everyone gets a say in how they want their government to work by voting for the person they like.

Cookie:  Ok.  So who do you like, Daddy?

Me:  Well…  nobody.  I’m probably going to vote for whomever I dislike the least.

Cookie:  So democracy is people voting for people they don’t hate?

Me:  …

 

Happy Father’s Day to Me

Cookie:  I have to go to the bathroom.

Me: After we’re done ordering.

Cookie:  Can you take me please?

Me: But .. ok.

***

Cookie: Carry my backpack please.

***

Cookie: I don’t want to use my scooter anymore.  Can you carry it?

***

Cookie:  I’m tired.  Can you carry me?

Me: But…

Cookie: Please?

Me:  Ok.

***

Cookie: I want Daddy to give me a bath tonight.

***

Cookie:  Daaaaaaady!  I finished pooping.  Come and wipe my butt please.

Me:  It’s Father’ Day.  Shouldn’t I get a rest?  Can’t Mommy do it?

Cookie:  But it’s Father’s Day!  I want Daddy to do it.

Me: [word deleted]… Ok.

 

And a happy Father’s Day it was.  I can’t move today (why do you never get tired or asked to be carried when you walk with just Mommy?), but I wouldn’t change a thing.

5 Going on 15

Some subway trains smell more than others in New York.  However, the subway is often the most convenient way to get across the city, especially when the streets are clogged.  Unfortunately, that fact doesn’t usually help the mood of the people jammed into the train like sardines.

Cookie:  The chemical smell in this train is making me really edgy.

Me too, Cookie.  Me too.

Slogan Time, Mommy!

Mommy and I are both sick from something you gave us last week: coughing, sneezing, mucousy, gross.  Mommy is incapacitated on the couch.

Mommy:  Cookie, can you hand me a tissue, please?

You look around and don’t see a tissue box.  Instead, you snag an used tissue from the pile Mommy placed on the coffee table.

Mommy:  Cookie, can you get me a new tissue?

Cookie:  Reduce.  Reuse.  Recycle.