One Saturday morning, when you were two, we went on a shopping trip to Buy Buy Baby (While it’s a nice store, this isn’t meant to be a plug. The name had hilarious consequences).
Cookie sitting in the stroller: I want a baby of my own. Then I get to push her in a stroller.
Mommy: Do you know babies are a lot of work?
Mommy: Yep. You have to change their diapers and give them baths.
Mommy: Then you have to cook special foods and spend hours feeding them when they won’t eat.
Mommy: Then when they throw up, you have to clean up the vomit from the baby, the floor, the walls. The throw-up goes everywhere.
Mommy: And then they wake up in the middle of the night, and you don’t get to sleep.
Cookie: I don’t want to have a baby.
Cookie suddenly crying: I don’t want to go to Buy Buy Baby.
Please understand that this was a big shock to Mommy and me since you rarely cried when you were little, and full on water works were extraordinary.
Cookie crying: I don’t want to go buy a baby! I don’t want a baby!
Mommy: Buy Buy Baby is short for Buy Buy Baby Stuff. You can’t buy a baby at Buy Buy Baby.
Cookie inconsolably crying: I don’t want to go to Buy Buy Baby.
Mommy: Buy Buy Baby doesn’t sell babies. It’s illegal to sell babies.
Cookie in the middle of sobbing: What’s illegal?
It’s a good thing I was pushing the stroller as you couldn’t see me behind you, Cookie. I didn’t want to seem insensitive cracking up in the middle of your crisis.
A few minutes later, when we entered the store, you had the most suspicious face a two year old could summon. And no, there were no babies for sale.