Toddlers Are Devious

Sophia crying: Cookie, why are you in my stroller?  I want to ride in my stroller.

Cookie:  You can ride my stroller.  That way we’ll end up at my house or at your house.  We’ll have a playdate.

Sophia smiling:  OK!

Cookie:  Make sure you buckle in.

Genius: Pure, Absolute Genius

Very few people exhibit the driven deviousness that you, Cookie, do on a daily basis.  Whenever I see it, I just have to watch with envious fascination.

At the children’s museum, a one-year old you and a two-year old boy both reached for the same train at the same time.  The boy took the train.  I was about to turn into papa bear on the little rascal, when your mother pulled me back.  She knew better.  You looked around and spotted the boy’s father walk into the room.  You randomly grabbed another toy, a squeaky thing that was absolutely not interesting for you (you didn’t even look at it twice).  You then watched the boy’s father walk over before you handed the squeaky toy to the boy.

Suckered Dad: Aww, Shawn.  Look, she’s sharing with you.  Give her the train.

Shawn shook his head.

Suckered Dad: Shawn, share, or I’m giving you a time out.

You took the train with a triumphant grin.

Some people just have it.  As you know, I occasionally have a guys night out with a few friends of mine.  I don’t go that often (spending time with you is precious), and each of the guys have their own varying levels of participation given work, wives, kids, and other commitments.  We were just having a conversation about freedom and attendance when a friend blurted the strangest thing.

Genius: I’ve given up my season Giants tickets and ordered two season tickets to the opera at the Met.  Two shows a week, every week.  I’m set.

Every other guy in the bar umm… library: Wha?!?

Genius: How do you think I’m here tonight?  They’re watching Aida.