Operational Sequencing – Consequences

Cookie:  Mommy, my butt itches.  I think it’s dry.

Mommy: Ok.  Let me get the lotion.

 

A short while and several globs of lotion later:

Cookie: Mommy, next time put lotion on my butt last.

Mommy: Why?  You said your butt was dry, so I did it first.

Cookie: I know, but now I have butt lotion on my face.

Cookie:  Mommy, where’s my goodnight kiss?

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Edjukashun: We’re Doing It Wrong.

For the last year, Cookie, we sent you to a Saturday morning Chinese language class at an aftercare center near home.  One hour.  Full immersion.  Short.  Easy.

Too easy.

Mommy and I wanted something a little more challenging for you (you wanted something more challenging for you), so we signed you up for a three-hour weekend class in the middle of Chinatown.  Unlike, the local Chinese class at the non-Chinese aftercare center, the Chinese class in the heart of Chinatown is taught in English.  The teacher speaks mostly in English to teach a handful of words to kids who speak English because of the fear that parents might complain that their children won’t understand what the teacher is saying.  Immersion?  HAH.

Yes, Cookie, Mommy and I made a mistake.  Next time, we’ll head back to Chinatown… and sign you up for an ESL class.  At least that class will be taught in Chinese.

She’s Got You There

Me:  Let’s go, Cookie.  We have a big day today.  Put on your helmet, and grab your scooter.

Cookie: I’m tired today, Daddy.  I want my stroller.

Mommy:  Strollers are for babies, Cookie.  You’re a big girl now.

Cookie:  But you said I would always be your baby!

Do You Look Like Mom or Dad?

Cookie, your unfiltered honesty has caused Mommy a lot of grief over the years.

Mommy: I thought she looked like both of us, but now I think she looks like me.

Me: I always thought she looks like you.  She has your eyes, your nose, your lips, your cheeks, your hair…

Mommy:  She doesn’t have my forehead.

Me:  Her forehead is much closer to yours than mine.

Mommy: That forehead is your mother’s.

Cookie:  No, I don’t have Mommy’s forehead.  I don’t have lines.

Mommy: !

While Mommy does have one little line, I predict Mommy will use a lot of moisturizer yet again tonight.

Fun Around New York City

Barbecued whole hog.  I suppose that I should stop being surprised that everything and anything may be found in this colossal metropolis, but given that I couldn’t find a decent sweet tea for years (aside from my own kitchen), imagine my surprise to find this glorious meal without having to head south of the Mason Dixon.

Daisy Mays Whole Hog

Bonus:  Daisy Mays BBQ serves excellent sweet tea, served in campy Mason jars.

We went with a big group of friends and their kids, and unfortunately, there are always drawbacks when dining with a group of kids.

Cookie’s Friend:  OH NO!  They cooked Peppa Pig!

Cookie’s Friend’s Mom:  That’s not Peppa Pig.

Cookie’s Friend crying:  How do you know?

Cookie’s Friend’s Mom: That’s not a real pig.  That’s a delicious pig… for eating.

Cookie, needless to say, your friend didn’t eat much pulled pork that day.  She missed out.  Peppa Pig was delicious.

Extra Bonus:  The restaurant is located a couple blocks away from this:

Intrepid

Somewhere along the way, Cookie, you became obsessed with airplanes and spaceships.  Instead of a doll in your stroller, you push around a Lego Osprey.  Planes was your favorite movie (until Frozen), but the Elsa doll always sits on the shelf watching you play with Dusty, El Chupacabra, Bravo, and Rochelle.

Naturally the Intrepid became the most interesting thing available (next to Lagaurdia), but the thing that made it awesome was the Enterprise.  Now, not only did you come back raving about airplanes, we had to build SPACESHIPS!