Tonight, I came home late, and missed my daily scream greeting and hug. Fortunately I was in time for a very late bedtime.
Cookie getting out of bed: Daddy, I have something for you.
Me: It’s really, late, Cookie, shouldn’t you be in bed?
Mommy: It’s ok. She has something to show you.
Me, wary this time: It’s not another poop in the toilet is it?
Cookie jumping up and down excitedly: How did you know? Come see! Come see!
Me disgusted but still awed: That’s …. HUGE!
Mommy: Yep, that’s amazing. I told her not to flush so you could see it.
A few things to note here, Cookie.
1. When you read these posts year later and realize that many of them revolve around poop, it’s not completely my fault. You and Mommy play a significant part in the choice of subject matter.
2. Even tough I’ve unfortuantely seen them occur over and over again (and get impossibly larger and larger each time), I’m still not sure how these gigantic toddler poops can came out of such a small body. If your tummy is thusly big, your stomach is probably here, and your large intestines should be… How is this physically possible?
3. I married the right woman.